Because i couldn't find the complete future lectures until i bought them and i really wanted to share them with some :)

I’m having a hard time telling mine without it sounding crazy. I’m better in a conversation than a monologue (though admittedly some conversations turn into my monologue ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry y’all)

I just go back and forth. Writing and erasing.
I don’t want to ‘bash’ people while telling it so I re-word. 
But then people wouldn’t understand because now it sounds to complex and vague. 
But now people won’t believe it because I can’t prove it in a tangible way for them right that instant. 
Speak from a place of raw emotion they say. 
I end up letting my emotion talk and well... 
 
it goes back to what some may consider as ‘bashing’ people. Not because I genuinely wish them ill will, but I am speaking from a place of raw emotion. It’s hard to tell a story you’re emotionally attached to without getting emotional. 
Just because I know better doesn’t mean it instantly takes away those deep-rooted feelings and trauma responses. 
^^^That my friends is a life long process that no one will be perfect at, but the journey produces the most beautiful of flowers. 
 
So maybe I can’t tell my story in a cohesive Eloquent story yet. because it takes years of the distilling process and finding the right words to use for what you really mean. But that doesn’t make it any less real or impactful. 
 
So this one goes out to all the rolled eyes. 
All the people telling me I’m too sensitive.
 
All the people who think in the back of their minds that I’m just an attention craving whore but never actually say it and just nod with that demeaning sympathetic look. I guarantee you I’ve already had hours/days/years in that turmoil of thoughts.
hate me? Then do it to my face. Do it with passion. least I’ll know where you stand instead of hiding behind niceness like a lying coward. 
 
All the people who say it’s just a phase.
All the people who tell me I’m over exaggerating.
All the people who say but it’s your “insert family member title here” and you only get one.
 
Ever think my over dramatization in words might be because I’m rarely taken seriously, and I have to communicate in a way to overcompensate? My bark is worse than my bite, but I sure as fuck can back that bark up if backed into a corner. 
 
Maybe if you took two seconds to realize your perspective isn’t the only one and understood that both yours and mine are equally correct.
I respect your perspective just as much as mine, but it doesn’t make it right. 
 
So, I’m going to be as dry as possible and give you the very itty bitty top of the iceberg that umbrellas my experiences.
 
I am bisexual that grew up in an extremely religious and suppressive environment.
 
My parents never processed their own trauma and ignored the hard process that is healing. This in turn caused me to be extremely traumatized by their continued cycle of abusive and manipulative behaviors. 
 
I gained self harm behavior because I didn’t know how to process or deal with the ever-growing pressure of the suppressed emotions. 
 
I also gained an unhealthy mindset that only created more chaos.
 
I instinctively went after relationships that mimicked this unhealthy behavior.
 
Spiraling me down to rock bottom leaving zero will left to live.
But I’m still here, training my will to live like a body builder every damn day, because I said fuck this, I’m worth it.
 
I’m not perfect and nor do I ‘have everything figured out’ with my life in perfect order, but I’ve learned some amazing techniques and tools that got me through really really really hard trails. That’s what I want to share, and prove to myself that I am this fucking strong ̿ ̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=(•_•)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿
Sympathy is wasted on me, I got through those times, all I ask is to respect the strength it took to get here.

Starting off I was really excited for this game for many reasons, one big reason is that this studio had a good standing and reputation, and I am enamored with The Witcher series books and story. On PC I have heard its absolutely great and is a night/day difference in comparison to the console experience. But I am not going to lie, there is a weight of disappointment on my experience playing it on my xbox series x, let me tell you why.
The story, the game, the world, and all the hard work that went into creating this world is self-evident. Although the actual performance of the game is absolute crap (in comparison to similar operating games today). The inventory management system kinda grinds my gears the gap between expectations and reality of performance, and the way it is running on the new systems is embarrassing for a game studio of this size and reach. But I don’t want to throw the baby out with the bath water, because 100% this is  on the management higher in the company and not a reflection of the artists and developers who worked their asses off on this game. This has become a continuous problem in the industry of overselling and over-promising to under-delivering, I believe encapsulates a much larger issue in the workforce at large today, but I’ll keep my personal rampages to a minimum ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴  for now…
Inventory management…..guys really? There are so many other games out there that do this well… what the hell happened?? Some things you pick up are not even categorized and you have to very carefully go over the full inventory list to find what you were looking for, and they don’t make it an easy task. I spent a quarter of my time in the game so far trying to come up with a system for organizing my inventory that would not completely drive me bonkers. Side note, I am more particular than most so, take that with a grain of a salt, I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Performance…..Playing on my xbox series x and 4k tv there were many times I looked at the scenery of the game and well… to put it nicely, Minecraft without ray tracing looks better than some of the scenes in this game. I went from Assassins Creed Valhalla to this…. And well assassin’s creed looks way better on my set up. I was riding with Panam through the badlands on a story mission and looked out the window of the car and the foliage looked terrible. Don’t get me wrong, some of the scenes especially in the city are downright gorgeous, but others look like I time warped back to 2007. I have had the game crash several times already but the silver lining I found was a majority of the time it just froze the game and would start back up right where it left off. I also had a funny experience of being stuck in a loop of falling through the game, but those are passable bugs for me, as long as it doesn’t make me loose time spent on the game ಠ_ಥ
The game is extremely in depth and the world kept me wanting more. The shards alone you collect in the game are probably an 800-page book worth! The attention to detail and design are well done and over all a really fun. That is why I am so torn to say the things about it that I am. But then I think about why this happened, and then I don’t feel so badddd. (i wrote that while humming 'my favorite things')
The root issue…. So we have been seeing this in the gaming industry lately, over promising and under delivering….do I dare bring up the disaster that was fallout 76? We keep seeing this happen, and a lot of us are making the connection between poor treatment of workers, bad management decisions, and this kind of public outcome. I guarantee you that the quality department within cd project red were aware of these problems and told the next person in the hierarchical line of them. There is no way this stuff went unnoticed within the company. Also we have been seeing more stories about studios and their policies for ‘crunch time’, which you may have experienced something similar in your own workplaces whether it be directly or indirectly. The end of month rush, or the end of year book closing, ya know, the huge push on production to ‘make the books look good’. To me this is a symptom of a greater disease that is rotting our businesses from the inside out across all industries.
 Well... This guy's audio essay puts in best.... i know its long but its worth it and i have it starting and hour and sixteen minutes in because that we it starts to coincide with what i am talking about.

Demonizing your opponent in any capacity is a chaotic endless fight that ends with both parties destroyed. So please do not make the mistake of assuming I am advocating for a specific side.
 
“Republican” Conservative: Less federal power more state power. Less overarching power and more individualized power
“Democrat” Liberal: More federal power and less state power. More overarching power to standardize power throughout.
For some reason we have gotten to a point where these terms no longer embody or portray the political parties in America today. These political parties over the years have grown and taken on morals as jewels in their shields.
By now both parties have decorated their shields with so many jewels that they are completely unrecognizable from their original form.  Their logic and Rhetoric are chaotic and only embodies self-preservation instead of the founding opposing ideals that are needed to prop up this institution. They were meant to be the Yin and Yang that kept this country and democracy running. Not a generalization and categorization of the things and/or morals you either like or don’t like.

A good point of reference and palatable way to show this is Jimmy Kimmel’s video from Jul 28th 2016
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HyXiu927WU
 
‘Republicans’ describe the ‘Democrats’ as these utopians, head in the clouds, idealist without the means.
‘Democrats’ describe the ‘Republicans’ as an arrogant force of order without regard.
I know you can argue that those selected people are not an encompassing view and we can’t generalize from the few. But they are spewing repeated ideas or thoughts tossed around in their communities. And these distilled rationalizations come from a frame of logic/world view that is given to them in a different manner, one that did not support their thought, they would utterly reject it.
Stop looking for short sighted answers and start to build a moral compass that is not easily distracted by the interference of circumstance.

I touched on the idea of understanding the world works in the shades of greys and not to use a strict this or that mindset towards things. Like all of these simple yet profound ideas you don’t just magically come to this understanding. That is why describing these concepts and ideas with words is difficult and there is a lot of room for misunderstanding. They are experienced, through this we understand a tangible truth that can be extremely hard to describe because it eludes our language’s vocabulary AND because experience is subjective.
I am going to take a stab in the dark to try give you bite size tastes of the experience with words. I can only hope for the best for it to resonate with someone LOL.

This would be like telling everyone "the water in this glass is in a liquid state"
and someone listening yelled "what about the water in my glass, its in a liquid state?!? By stating your water is in a liquid state, no other combination of 2 hydrogen's and an oxygen can exist in a liquid state.
sounds like madness right?

approximation measurement -can give you an idea to start, but no actions should be taken with this information
and the exact measurement - needed in order to execute actionables.
If someone gives you an approximation, do not go and use it as a foundation to form another thought. just use it to help paint a picture.
Its like focusing on the movements of the paint brush and criticizing and telling the artist what they are painting before they are done

No one really covers the cons of being a master, but we love to point out the cons of being a beginner everything has pros and cons, and i mean everything.
From my observation i have found the con of mastery to be a hyper critical mind. because you understand the nuances and look at like many parts to a large moving machine.
Whereas the beginner tends to see it as a whole producing an outcome.
Both perspectives are important, but one does not view themselves as 'better than the other'

This is how you nourish your soul. understanding with a loving embrace both the good and the bad. for one cannot exist without the other

Crown Chakra//Sahasrara
Sefirot of Keter
Christian sacrament of Extreme unaction
Sacred truth: Live in the present moment
 
This final chakra is our crown chakra. There are several references to a divine or metaphysical state throughout this series and is an integral part of healing and self-actualizing. But I want to take a moment to address that many of us have wounds that shroud our perception of ‘the divine’. How to explain this….. grrr…. Well lets use my experience as an example and just know that there are many other ways you can arrive at the end result, this is just one example.

I grew up in an extremely Christian strict environment. In this context they take the idea of the divine and force it through their narrow understanding of how power works and assign the top as the omnipotent authority, God. For me this stripped the divine of its balancing maternal natures and gave a very sour taste to the idea of the divine for me. We lived and died by the final commands of our superior authority.

“And how could you say that a republic is the best form of government if you think that the Universe is a monarchy? Obviously, if God is top on a monarchy, monarchy is the best form of government. But you see, ever so many citizens of this republic think they ought to believe that the Universe is a monarchy, and therefore they are always at odds with the republic.” – Alan Watts

When your reality is warped and then used to manipulate your emotions and behavior, its gives a feeling of helplessness and paralyzing fear. A relatable sensation that is described in Edgar Allan Poe’s “The pit and the pendulum”.

Soooo yeahhh...... my childhood was great guys...... ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴   
Anywho
This creates fear, and fear is what we are trying to let go of this entire time, so why would we cling to ideologies that perpetuate fear?

(▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) Because we need to heal the self-damaging ideas and habits that run amok.

So before we angrily dismiss any idea of a divine, make sure its not coming from a wounded perception created by people who claim to act in a divine interest. It is in this chakra we learn to move beyond religion (based in the root chakra and primary concern is to protect the group) to spirituality which is primarily concerned with the  individuals experience and relationship with the unknown.

Alan Watt’s quote from the lecture below, sits with me well so I share it in the hopes that it will help further drive the idea I am trying to present.
“Divine inspiration is, for example, to feel – for reasons that you can’t really understand – that you love people. Divine inspiration is a wisdom which it’s very difficult to put into words. Like mystical experience. That’s divine inspiration. And a person who writes out of that experience could be said to be divinely inspired. Or it might come through dreams. Through archetypal messages from the collective unconscious, through which the Holy Spirit could be said to work. But since inspiration always comes through a Human vehicle it is liable to be distorted by that vehicle. In other words, I’m talking to you through a sound system. And it’s the only one now available. Now if there’s something wrong with this sound system whatever truths I might utter to you will be distorted. My voice will be distorted. And you might mistake the meaning of what I said.”
 
If you have not noticed by now the ideas we talk about in each chakra are also present in the newish Kabbalah and Christian sacraments. Bringing together western and eastern thoughts of moral and spirituality. We are all more alike and our conclusions to philosophy end in the same ocean if we take a moment to look at them with symbolic sight. In fact, we are all more connected and alike than current culture climates like to preach. All this division over religion, race, or realities is an illusion and is becoming a damaging one at that.
But I am just one person so how can I do anything about such a large issue?

Heal, heal yourself so you might help heal the world.

Take these truths and use them as reference points, mirrors, to better examine and understand your surroundings. I can’t say this journey is easy, clear cut, or that everything will magically be better; but I can say it opens a sublime world of possibility and understanding that makes it all worth it.

So far, idk maybe 10 years from now i'll be the grumpy cat lady that hisses when people get too close ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  Guess we’ll find out   (._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.)

With much Love (づ￣ ³￣)づ

Alan Watts lecture i pull quotes from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s42V8BGBvTk
Transcript of the lecture: https://www.alanwatts.org/1-3-2-jesus-his-religion-pt-1/

Third Eye Chakra, Ajna
The sacrament of ordination
Sefirah of Binah and Chokhmah
Seek Only Truth

As we explore this chakra we are challenged to ‘retrieve our energy’ from false truths. Forcing us to distinguish thoughts and actions that are motivated by strength and those that are motivated by fear.
This is personally my favorite 😊 I have always been enamored with wisdom and intuitive sight. Although it is like this Patrick meme, the energy that is so vibrant and wonderful in my third eye tries to flow through my throat chakra and it comes out a scattered mess at first ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

We are all a unique mixture of what we know and what we believe to be true; this is created by the coming together of facts, fears, personal experiences, and memories. This is the fun part where you get to dissect that mixture and identify the recipe  (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

As the brain is the physical commander, the mind is where thoughts become actions. As we indulge in this journey, we gain wisdom through both life experiences and acquiring the perpetual ability of detachment. As humans we crave stability but unfortunately nothing in this world is immune to change. The lesson is then to not search for unwavering stability in outside sources, building your house on sand. But to find stability within yourself, building your house on rock. Instead of shifting with time and succumbing to exposure from the elements we cast our anchor internally.
This allows you to ride the current of time and experience without loosing your balance. Think of it as the universe experiencing itself through you.
Trying to make things stay the same is as pointless as spitting into the wind. But that isn’t meant to discourage at all!
On the contrary, it means learning the direction and strength of the wind, then spitting (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)
In other words our task is to put your best foot forward in every situation and keep in mind we influence but do not control what tomorrow brings. :)

I know we talk about fear being bad a lot when working on our internal strength, but it wouldn’t exist if it was all bad or all good. Its purpose is to alert us to a loss of power in our bodies, physical or mental. Healing requires the unity of mind and heart, honoring our needs AND our feelings. I know a lot of us would love to be Vulcan, but we aren’t LOL. Feelings are apart of us and just as important as thoughts.

One goal of this chakra is become detached but not cold or the absence of care, but rather to posture yourself so that external influences have no authority over your sense of self. The other goal is to become conscious by opening yourself to internal evaluation. Now the real trick is maintaining this state through obstacles. It requires to move past the idea that situations are either win or lose. Death or illness isn’t failure, it’s a natural part of the cycle we call life.   and cue circle of life playing in my head now.....

The answer to our struggles and pain that surfaces with this chakra is simple, but probably the hardest thing you will ever do. Ever.
Let it Go.
.... and now cue frozen... ( ﾟヮﾟ)

Releasing what you think reality should be and start observing what is.




So what is the end game goal of all this?
It’s not to suddenly become immortal or immune to change. It’s not to rule and command the physical to your will.
It is the ability to ride change without fear and looking to what we can learn from it. It is to become a master of spirit. This journey is a lifelong task and tends to be more glamorous in theory than in practice, but in my opinion it’s the most rewarding.  ಠ‿↼

I wanted to share some of the exercises that Dr Myss shares to help guide working with this chakra on pages 255 and 256.

• Develop a practice of introspection, and work to become conscious of what you believe and why
• Keep an open mind, and learn to become aware with your mind is “shutting down”
• Recognize defensiveness as an attempt to keep new insights from entering your mind
• Interpret situations and relationships as having a symbolic importance, even if you can’t immediately understand what it is.
• Practice detachment, make decisions based upon the wisest assessment you can in the immediate moment, rather than working to create a specific outcome
• Refrain from all judgements, not just with people and situations, but with the size and importance of tasks too. Remind yourself continuously of the higher truth that you cannot possibly see all the facts or details of any situation, nor visualize the long term consequences of your actions
• Detach from all values that support the belief that success in life means achieving certain goals. Instead, view a successful life as a process of achieving self control and the capacity to work through the challenges life brings you.
• Act on your inner guidance, and give up the need for constant proof that your inner guidance is authentic.
• Keep all your attention in the present moment—refrain from living in the past or worrying about the future. Learn to trust your other 4 senses and not solely rely on the spectrum of the visible light reflecting into your corneas.

Throat Chakra
Sefirah of Chesed and Sefirah of Gevurah
Sacrament of confession
Choice and consequence
Vishuddha

In exploring the ideas in the chakra you will face the many emotional and mental struggles involved with the nature of choice.
I will have to admit off the bat that my traumas effects tend to accumulate and manifest themselves here;
in other words its my Achilles heal. ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻
Here resides the fear of chaos, the unknown, and also the perception that we can control it. The previous chakras have given a sense of self-empowerment. Now we balance out by flipping the idea on its head by understanding your limits.
Ya know, the Serenity Prayer
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.”

We sit/meditate with the fact that our singular perception is very much limited, though it is important it is only a small piece of the larger picture. Because of this there is sometimes a difference between your micro and macro perspectives, your life perspective vs the larger whole perspective. Now stay with me here, we are going to take it one step further. With the micro and macro understanding, picture them as two parts of a whole that interact with each other while also have reactions within themselves.
It is a bit ‘inception-y’ LOL (☞ຈل͜ຈ)☞
This usually produces a sense of absolute wonder and amazing awe as you truly understand the sentiment that “the more you know, the more you know how much you don’t know”

Until you truly grasp the personal power and the humility of this reverent surrender to the fact that in all your efforts to know things, there is an insurmountably amount of things you will never know in one lifetime. We then seek to nullify the need to control it because let’s be honest, nature got along just fine without us intervening. We need to let go of the idea that nature or the natural world is something to dominate. Only then can you speak your truth and have weight to your word.
This forces us to be honest, very honest with ourselves. At a certain point in your healing lying to yourself or others will become out of the question. The inability to be truly honest with yourself will obstruct healing just as strongly as not being able to forgive like we talked about in the heart chakra. Genuine forgiveness and honesty allows us to call back our energy/control from people or places that no longer serve us.
The thing that will diminish your power of choice or be the costliest to your energy, is forming your choices from a place of fear. These kinds of choices are the ones that bite us in the ass over and over again until we get to a point of surrender. Usually at my point I throw my hands up in the air and say “alrightyyyy then, what am I supposed to be learning from this then”

From this we get the very essence of faith. Having faith in something or someone commits a part of our energy to that person or thing. Our energetic commitments become intertwined with every aspect of our lives, and by direct effect so do the consequences ( positive and negative ). We will constantly be shown our personal power is limited through circumstances if we do not hold onto the reverence and surrender discussed above. That is precisely why we must be honest with ourselves and others, the honor and humility that comes with this are so commendable that it shines like a light amongst the dark.
I know, this struggle is absolutely endless…. But again I point you to my example with data and his daughter in the solar plexus chakra post “The effort yields its own rewards.”
Also shown here in Professor Farnsworth's journey ;)
FYI i love futurama as much as i love my star trek  ♥‿♥

It is simply the pursuit of being genuinely and unequivocally yourself with the humility to accept and learn from faults. To not see failures or faults as a bad thing, but an opportunity to exercise the power of choice by choosing to learn from these circumstances rather than give them power and control.
When you have the strength to be honest and kind with yourself then also remove judgement, you can see the flaws and all; you are a beautiful piece of the universe experiencing itself and vise versa. It does help to have the outlook that life is a spiritual journey, and I may lose some of you there. But its important to find what it means to you, don’t take it from me I’m just blabbing telling you what I found it to meant to me.

There is a reason on my very first post for this series I posted a picture that states “You are a collection of unique experiences that provides valuable insight and information into the human experience” . because when people become bold enough to accurately report our life experiences regardless of circumstances, we finally have a place to start to do better. When you are not honest with yourself its like not being honest about where you were stabbed, no one can help you stop the bleeding and properly address the wound.

Once I took the honest step of surrendering control of my life circumstances and overall, I signed a contract to myself, to be genuine and unequivocally be my truest self. It was super simple but went something like this
“I take this faith and place it in You and my higher-self, so that my limited understanding and knowledge will not stunt mine or others growth and greater well-being. Please keep guiding me with the same Love and care, with that I cannot go wrong. So, I free fall in and trust You to keep being You so that I may become the best I can be with little old happy me”

Now I don’t want to go into insane detail or impose my views on others, but when I say “You” in that contract. I mean the laws and inevitability of the cosmos, my own picture of god and/or gods of this experience. Please don’t mistake my spirituality for religiosity.  

Heart Chakra
Sefirah of Tif’eret
Sacrament of marriage (as an archetype)
Anahata
The first three chakras focus mostly on our physical reality. This fourth chakra is our gateway into our emotional and spiritual realities. This energy pool will reflect our emotional perceptions of reality far stronger than our mental perceptions.
We see in this chakra, a mini reflection of the entire chakra system much like a crystal reflecting the light spectrum as a rainbow.

With that being said, this one can get messy and complicated not only because everyone’s reflection is different and personalized; also because as a culture we have only recently adopted the idea of ‘emotional maturity’ and really don’t have the universal vocabulary and support to analyze this subject at the depth we can for most of the physical matter we study. Obviously with time and persistence we have seen an improvement and are starting to have a better understanding in this field of study. Philosophy and its impacts on the sociological and anthropological levels. This can sometimes illuminate things previously seen as completely unrelated to having a path of convergence, effecting each other’s presentation to the greater whole. This is the juicy stuff that lights up my synapses 
̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿    ( ಠ ͜ʖರೃ)       ಠ‿↼

We have all heard at some point the notion that “Love is the most powerful emotion” and honestly, I have to agree. We see it in real life, in movies, shows, lectures, pretty much anything we create lol. Love can have a powerful effect and be and insane driving force or will. I challenge you to take this seriously and understand that your emotions hold more energy than your ‘mental energy’.
The challenge we are most confronted with when examining this part of ourselves, is focusing and balancing our feelings about our emotional self. There is a difference between self-care and self-love. Self-care may come from self-love, but it is generated from the solar plexus chakra and usually comes in the form of a reward or comforting action. Self-love isn’t always comfortable, its loving yourself enough to get uncomfortable for the right reasons.

We relate the Sefirah of Tif’eret to this chakra as well because it is the symbolic strength, beauty, and nurturing compassion within Yahweh. It also emulates the give and take nature of love, further understanding how it operates or flows. With this we can learn to balance the amount of energy we give and take to balance compassion and judgement. In order to house and exchange energy, this also serves as a place for transmutation of energy; where we can take one feeling and transform it to an emotion or thought , ideally to one that better serves us and the greater whole. Balancing self interest with loving kindness to others.             (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

We also relate the sacrament of marriage as an archetype to this chakra. What I mean by ‘as an archetype’ is that I use the word in most basic understanding of the sense, no predisposition or culture means to it. Therefor it represents your bond with yourself, the union internally with yourself and soul. You cannot bestow and shower people with love if you do not first generate the love within yourself. “You can’t love anyone until you learn to love yourself.”
I know this can be a hard pill to swallow, and some of us have or still have a long way to go. Its hard to love yourself when most of the time we are frustrated with ourselves and nature. But the first step to heal these types of wounds is to let go. Let go of our emotional pain, and not as in throw it away or suddenly detach all and any emotion from it. I mean letting go of the need to understand why things are as they are or why this or that has happened to you. We release the need for self-determined justice or acting in an overcompensating way to cover or mask pain. Letting the them flow down the river, surrendering to that which you cannot control. Unhealed wounds will act as a slow toxin bubbling to the surface of your mind repeatedly until it is confronted and healed. Unhealed wounds stunt our growth and keep us living in the past. Love yourself enough to heal them.
“Life’s challenges is a lesson in some aspect of love. How we respond to these challenges is recorded within our cell tissues: we live within the biological consequences of our biographical choices” (Dr. Myss 199).

At the end of the day ask yourself, what will I do with all this left-over negative energy and pain? Am I just going to let it sit and season me to that flavor? Or will you use it as an excuse to allow fear more control over you life? Or can you let it go and release its authority over you with an act of forgiveness? Not gonna lie, HARDEST THING EVVVVVVVVERRRRRRRRRR. that’s why you don’t judge yourself for not being what you think you should be, but celebrate the baby steps you take towards what you would like to be.
BABY STEPS!
WHAT ABOUT BOB! LOL I love that movie


 (づ￣ ³￣)づ Much Love

So now that we have covered the first two chakras, we lay the foundation for this next chakra;
Manipura, Solar Plexus, Sefirah of Nezah and Hod, Sacrament of Confirmation, Honoring oneself.
The first two chakras place their roots in external soil, but this one shifts the focus to internal soil, acting as the mediator and final judge of energy received from the first two chakras.
This is where our personal power comes from, our ego. Self-esteem, self-respect, self-discipline and ambition
The power AND RESPONSIBILITY is now shifting to your unique self. 
Que uncle Ben from spider man (•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)

All three of the covered chakras are like rivers that flow into a lake, that lake would metaphorically be your intuition. Your relationship with self , level of self-understanding and acceptance will determine the quality of water in your lake, the level of distortion in your intuition.
You always hear “follow your gut” and similar phrases, but the most important part of that concept is left out. It needs to be “check your gut before you wreck your gut”.  ┬─┬ ︵ /(.□. ）
But it's not all bad there is beauty in the struggle of learning to balance  (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

The way you handle these challenges or obstacles on the course to obtaining your goals will reflect itself in your external world. I must stress that this is a ongoing constant cycle that will cause you to evaluate your ongoing relationship with your external world. Each time you will be given an option, to enhance your personal energy, or siphon it.

A lot of the times we have this misconception of that having an ego at all is evil. While we do live in a time of rampant, unchecked, destructive, and malignant egos, so naturally we have swung the opposite to compensate.  We need to make sure we don’t go too far to the other extreme. Because this too adheres to the law of balance, we must learn to maintain a healthy ego or level  of self-confidence.

Remember the question I posed “where do you pull your personal power from?”
When first asked it, I gave the imagery of  your internal looking glass and playing with what you might see in the reflection. I want you to do that again and hold onto that image of the reflection as you paint an accurate picture of your internal self. Be honest, but also be kind.  
See things as they are, not as you wish them to be, then build your reality from there.

Most of the time we always find something that isn't to our liking, we are after all our own worst critics. When in the process of cleaning or organizing our lives or ‘self’ the decisions or choices we make will either feed into placing your physical limitations on your ‘spirit’ or ‘soul’ or using them to exercise your ‘self’ (much like the fact of actual home cleaning, in that it never fucking ends!)
“The stronger our spirit becomes, the less authority linear time can exercise in our lives” (Myss 175).

When this area is traumatized/misaligned you cannot act on intuitive impulses because when it reaches your conscious thought it is distorted or altered. This is much like placing your faith in something or someone only to be disappointed because you shouldn’t have been doing so in the first place.
Sometimes people can get stuck in the self-pity that can occur during this process. While you need to address yourself with honest love, staying in the self-pity will be far more damaging then anything anyone could ever do to you. Bringing home the point I nodded at earlier, “with great power come great responsibility”. Making the ego self-accountable and have the capacity to be held accountable.
This isn’t something that comes naturally or even easily, self-discovery is one helluva process but its probably the most important 'wright of passage' to reach.
Many like to use the metaphor of weeding the mind garden for this process, each weed representing hard questions we must ask of our internal looking glass and observe the answer that becomes self evident. Questions like “why do I keep secrets? Why do I have addictions? Why do I blame others for my own errors? Why do we find it so difficult to accept compliments? Why does ___ trigger such an emotional response? “ etc..

As you let these things unfold and address them honestly but with love, you will start to discover your personal boundaries and the make up of your character. At which each point you get to ask the question, is this strengthening or siphoning my sense of self?
If it is strengthening it, have faith in yourself and your ability to get through the storm.
If its siphoning then ask, what can you control? and what can’t you control?
What are little ways to impact the things you can control instead of giving up your strength and attention to the things you can’t control. Accept and Acknowledge that which you cannot control, but do not let fear of loosing control drive your decisions.
Absolutely nothing about this is simple, easy, or rigid but like data explained to his daughter Lal,
“The effort yields its own rewards”.

Personally, I had the worst time with this chakra, because from birth I was taught that my personal power was not mine to wield, only existing to surrender to someone who "knows better".
The consequence of this was being ruled by fear in all decisions and/or actions, then having to building a sense of self confidence from the ashes.
While I can definitely say I’m light years from where I was 7 years ago, it still isn’t easy to trust myself. Shit, I will forever be on the journey and you will never hear me say that I've  “made it to the top” or “completed” it.

Its much like the pain of a healed over injury, its not bad most of the time, but its still a weak point. Butttttttttttt not to sound like a broken record, (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)
on the positive side "The effort yields its own rewards."

There is a yoga with Adrienne video on the solar plexus to compliment this nicely at the button below.
Like, Share, ya know all the normal shit you do to bring attention to things you like or resonate with
 (づ￣ ³￣)づ Much Love