Set the world on fire with your truth

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I’m having a hard time telling mine without it sounding crazy. I’m better in a conversation than a monologue (though admittedly some conversations turn into my monologue ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry y’all)

I just go back and forth. Writing and erasing.
I don’t want to ‘bash’ people while telling it so I re-word. 
But then people wouldn’t understand because now it sounds to complex and vague. 
But now people won’t believe it because I can’t prove it in a tangible way for them right that instant. 
Speak from a place of raw emotion they say. 
I end up letting my emotion talk and well... 
 
it goes back to what some may consider as ‘bashing’ people. Not because I genuinely wish them ill will, but I am speaking from a place of raw emotion. It’s hard to tell a story you’re emotionally attached to without getting emotional. 
Just because I know better doesn’t mean it instantly takes away those deep-rooted feelings and trauma responses. 
^^^That my friends is a life long process that no one will be perfect at, but the journey produces the most beautiful of flowers. 
 
So maybe I can’t tell my story in a cohesive Eloquent story yet. because it takes years of the distilling process and finding the right words to use for what you really mean. But that doesn’t make it any less real or impactful. 
 
So this one goes out to all the rolled eyes. 
All the people telling me I’m too sensitive.
 
All the people who think in the back of their minds that I’m just an attention craving whore but never actually say it and just nod with that demeaning sympathetic look. I guarantee you I’ve already had hours/days/years in that turmoil of thoughts.
hate me? Then do it to my face. Do it with passion. least I’ll know where you stand instead of hiding behind niceness like a lying coward. 
 
All the people who say it’s just a phase.
All the people who tell me I’m over exaggerating.
All the people who say but it’s your “insert family member title here” and you only get one.
 
Ever think my over dramatization in words might be because I’m rarely taken seriously, and I have to communicate in a way to overcompensate? My bark is worse than my bite, but I sure as fuck can back that bark up if backed into a corner. 
 
Maybe if you took two seconds to realize your perspective isn’t the only one and understood that both yours and mine are equally correct.
I respect your perspective just as much as mine, but it doesn’t make it right. 
 
So, I’m going to be as dry as possible and give you the very itty bitty top of the iceberg that umbrellas my experiences.
 
I am bisexual that grew up in an extremely religious and suppressive environment.
 
My parents never processed their own trauma and ignored the hard process that is healing. This in turn caused me to be extremely traumatized by their continued cycle of abusive and manipulative behaviors. 
 
I gained self harm behavior because I didn’t know how to process or deal with the ever-growing pressure of the suppressed emotions. 
 
I also gained an unhealthy mindset that only created more chaos.
 
I instinctively went after relationships that mimicked this unhealthy behavior.
 
Spiraling me down to rock bottom leaving zero will left to live.
But I’m still here, training my will to live like a body builder every damn day, because I said fuck this, I’m worth it.
 
I’m not perfect and nor do I ‘have everything figured out’ with my life in perfect order, but I’ve learned some amazing techniques and tools that got me through really really really hard trails. That’s what I want to share, and prove to myself that I am this fucking strong ̿ ̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=(•_•)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿
Sympathy is wasted on me, I got through those times, all I ask is to respect the strength it took to get here.